Sunday, September 30, 2007

dear diary: regret

Regret is an appalling waste of energy;
you can't build on it;
it's only good for wallowing in.
Katherine Mansfield

Regret, I've been reading and hearing many people
talking about this recently, and figure its about time
for me to say a few things about it.

Younger, I had many of the same response's most
people have, if this hadn't happened, if I would have
done this instead of that, if I wouldn't have been together
with her, I would have been with someone else, etc, etc.

I can't tell for sure why I think the way I do, or that
it makes any sense, just that it has worked for me,
and in the end, that's all that seems to matter.

My Dad had a pretty crazy upbringing and I think this
is more for him, than anyone, since we never get a
chance to talk, one on one about this.

I hope he can reconcile his past, and enjoy the rest of
his life without having the chains he has put around
himself, about a situation that is long gone,
and for something he had no control.

I guess when you hang on to thoughts like that, it's hard to
let them go, but on the other hand, since he can't reconcile the past
with those that he feels has caused the anguish he feels
about them and growing up, it's time to move forward,
let it go and really, enjoy the time and the people
here and now, so he doesn't regret any of todays
people, who are still here and appreciate
him despite whatever the past has been.

And for Hawk, thanks for thinking about me,
and I'm sorry for your loss and hope and feel,
all will be well in your world!


This is Clarence and Barbara, friends from
when we first moved here to Indiana.

Clarence was a printer, before they became extinct
and Barbara was a nurse. Since retiring, they've run
an antique store until recently.

Barbara was diagnosed with breast cancer and
had surgery for that removal a few years back.
Unfortunately, the cancer has spread and they
are dealing with it accordingly.

Some people find it easy to talk when being recorded,
some like to write what they want to say, and read it.
This is what Clarence has done.

The following excerpt is Clarence, which I'd like
to share with you, if you are interested.

Although we don't see them as often as we'd like,
they are the type of people, who, when you do visit,
about 3 hours goes by, and you still are talking
with each other.

We are on our way to the Detroit area to return
some quilts, and sadly, the Motown Museum
is closed but we have found a deli in
Ann Arbor that looks pretty cool.



16 comments:

Anok said...

Sometimes regret can be a healthy aspect of character - but as you say if it is obsessive, that is when regret can become damaging. Imagine what the world would be like if no one ever regretted committing a hurtful action? Or a poor decision? That said, one can have regrets and not become obsessed, so they can enjoy life in the present.

Hi, nice blog. I love the artwork you have all over the place. So I figured I'd make myself at home!

Alexys Fairfield said...

CM,
Wonderful quote as always. Regret is someting I have never exercised. It is a wasted energy and it brings nothing but misery.

Thanks for that reminder for all on the spiritual path to eradicate regret.

Take care.

earlbo said...

Great and interesting interview, CM. I recognize Clarence, as most craftmen I have known, they have a love and profound knowledge about the tools of their craft. The work, in most jobs today, is being reduced to something anyone can come in off the street, and learn in a hour or two.

About regrets, ole Blue Eyes said it for me,

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

RubyShooZ said...

A saying I find myself saying often:

Coulda, shoulda, woulda...

Shoulda had a V8 but I didn't so what's done is done and ain't nothing gonna change it - time to move on and deal with the here and the now.

Peace, serenity.

~ RS ~

Georg said...

Hallo Coffee,

Thanks for this very inspiring entry about regrets.

Georg

enigma4ever said...

I love your blog...you are the Norman Rockwell of Blogland- I hope you know that...you paint it the way it is here in the heartland...I also love the audio of people..so wonderful to hear VOICES..real voices...

about regret....sometimes with regret comes wisdom....just not often enough...


take care..keep blogging it...

RAFFI said...

regrets are only our tie to the past and don't allow us to spread our wings, fly, and grow. sometimes i enjoy the timely wallow, until i realize it's a complete waste of time and makes me lose my focus on what i have and what i can do to move forward. have fun in detroit and ann arbor. btw, divshare is being a beeotch.

robin andrea said...

I love the shot of the Golden Gate in the side mirror. A great depiction of looking back. I think we can't help but reflect on our pasts, but we must forgive ourselves what can not be undone. Once you've made peace, really made peace, you can let go and move on.

fairlane said...

Regret really isn't that bad. It goes well with a little Vinaigrette.

We learn from our mistakes, and too often we are quick to push them into the back of our minds as though they never happened.

If I can ever get my lazy ass focused, regret is going to turn me into a best selling author.

Who will be regretful then?

That's what I thought.

Cheers

fairlane said...

I have no idea what 90% of that means, but it sounded good.

However, I don't regret writing it.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Regret can be a cruel taskmaster.

RAFFI said...

yes, like fairlane, i don't regret any of the things i ramble on about here at your place, coffeesiah.

Spadoman said...

Regret nothing
It is out of your hands
It is behind you and can't be brought forward

Regret nothing
The answers to everything you seek are in front of you
Be proud of who you are

Regret nothing
Just don't live your life like regret doesn't exist
Think after the choice of action

Regret nothing
Don't look back
There is nothing back there for you

Mary said...

I try not to regret. Mostly I am too busy in the present to regret the past.
Thanks for sharing Clarence. It's pure art.

Mark said...

For me, I always remember that all that I am toaday is because of all that has gone on in my past. To have regret, to wish to change one thing, would alter beyond imagination our life.

Coffee Messiah said...

anok: Thanks for stopping by! Regret has many facets, and in regretting awful things, you are right, otherwise, learn and move on in a more positive way.

alexys: Why do you not surprise me?

earl:Who's "blue eyes?"

ruby: )

georg: Thanks for stopping by my part of the hemisphere! ; )

enigma: You go too far, but Thanks for the compliment!

raffi" Mi casa, su casa! ; )

robin: Since that's my home town, the picture worked out well! ; )

fairlane: Glad you left your 2 cents, or was it more? ; )

enemy: Indeed.

spado: Nicely stated!

mary: Glad you took a listen.

mark: Yes, we do build ourselves most of the time due to past experiences. And then again, sometimes we wallow in the past, and get stuck, and for me, that's a terrible waste of today!