Friday, September 17, 2010

be still

Click any photos to enlarge


These were my 2 entries for a mail art call
in 1995 by Arto Posto, who I lost track of and
have read she may have died.

The amazing irony of this call and looking
at events that unfolded through the late
'90s have been a revelation to me.
And, it's taken almost 15 yrs to make
any sense out of it after moving
away from the bay area.

1 - Sometimes, people go through life
looking for answers, that can never
be found outside, because they are
inside themselves.

2 - I always wondered, if life in our
home had been any different
and more positive, what I
would have done and sooner
than starting to understand
it all starting in my 40s.

3 - Fear of success has been the ultimate
and key word in the back of my mind.

4 - Always being in relationships where people
were needy and manipulative.
Never realizing I was as much a problem
to them, as they were to me.

I received the following
envelope from Lisa.

I sent her this one.

It was a few years later, many emails, snail mail
and finally a phone call here and a phone call there,
that we decided to meet.

I was in a transition period, where life was in chaos
although family and friends may not have understood.

I knew before I left, I was not going to
be staying in Ca any longer. Some family and
friends said it wouldn't last.

5 - My upbringing was such, that I
had no self esteem, people wonder why
Recently, through a few old school friends
on FB I found out in school I was one
funny, happy kid. It was being at home
that caused the inward turn and fears.

Fortunately for me, moving here has been
helpful to get past all that.

6- 15 yrs + later, we are still together
and moving in directions neither of
us thought we'd ever move in.

7 - Sometimes, I wonder if she knows
how great these years have really
been, and just how much I love being
with her and doing what we do.

8 -Does anyone ever really know
how we think about the other,
when it comes right down to it?

This is for you and hoping for many
more years where we continue
to grow together and stay
this side of creative.

--------------------------

I love you,

not because of

who you are,

but because

of who I am

when I am with you.

Roy Croft

Happy Birthday!

Theme Thursday entries - Reveal
can be found:

Here

23 comments:

RiikaInfinityy said...

Beautiful arts and words :D Thank for sharing, it is great visiting your site^^

Sharlene said...

I for 1 and part of your family am very happy the situation worked out as good as it has. I love my Sis. You are good for eachother. I think if people did not understand, it is because they were not a part of the e-m's/ snail mail communications you both shared. All and all-looks like a win win situation to me.
I will not comment about our home life. I love you Big Bro and Happy Birthday Lisa!

Dot-Com said...

Amazingly beautiful! Been a while since I visited, but hope to have more time to read blog posts again. Lots of catching up to do!

Tom said...

you went the distance here.
awesomely done, sir!

Ténèbres à la lumière... said...

Hi! C.M.,
All I can say is that this post is very thoughtful, reflective, and most importantly...revealing.
Thank-you, for sharing your very intimate thoughts and feelings about Lisa, too!
C.M., the artwork is...beautiful!
and the sounds are...nice!
Thanks, for sharing!
Cont...
DeeDee ;-D

Ténèbres à la lumière... said...

Happy Birthday! to your Lisa, and I hope that you both have many more!
DeeDee ;-D

Dad said...

Sorry about the childhood.
But glad you "came together" at 40 and not in your 70'a as me. Think I have a good idea of what you speak. Yes - I heard it there. You two make spectacular cards.
Many Happy Ones - Lisa.

tony said...

The Birth Of Life:The Best Birthday Present.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

coffee, thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and revealing post.

for me most of life is an unknown journey - though we do have agency, much is revealed to us in it's own time.

such joy that you and lisa are exploring that journey together and able to withstand all the unexpected directions!

happy birthday lisa!

P11 said...

Wow!! happy birthday Lisa :)

lettuce said...

a lovely honest and intimate post
so happy for you and Lisa

I too (despite a happy home and childhood) have only really felt i've started to understand it all (me) in my 40's ++...

Jingle said...

Happy Birthday,
lovely poem!

Sam Juliano said...

An especially lovely post with an affecting blend of words and pictures.

Happy Birthday Lisa, and the best always!

John said...

Great post, thanks for sharing and a happy birthday to Lisa!

layers said...

you have said and revealed a great deal here-- life is definitely a journey and to be able to look back and realize how much you have changed and grown only makes the future so much hopeful and lovely.

Lenora said...

very personal - lovely.

Coffee Messiah said...

Thanks for all your interesting comments. Hoping to catch up with folks in a few days!

robin andrea said...

A beautiful birthday post to someone well loved. Hope Lisa had a fine birthday.

Coffee Messiah said...

robin: Yes, Thanks. Our best to you and Roger!

injaynesworld said...

You have some pretty amazing creations here. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit. I grew up in the Bay Area, too, on the Peninsula. Then in the late 60s moved to Marin and then SF where I was born. Left in the 70s, but still a Californian.

I'm glad your journey brought you such happiness.

Coffee Messiah said...

ijw: I remember and Thanks for popping by. It's OK here, but we're still west coast folks, deep down. Don't think that will ever change.

Anonymous said...

Hi, very interesting post, greetings from Greece!

Coffee Messiah said...

Thanks anon Greece,
whoever you are ; )